I’ve been on a little writing break. I took the time off to let life do its thing and trusted that I would find something to talk about when it was time. And just as expected, I’m back to the keyboard, with my mind racing of thoughts for this New Year.
Speaking of that, you know what I love about the New Year? With the fresh start that January 1st brings, I feel like I have the opportunity for a new beginning. I know it’s just a date in a calendar and my life from December 31st to January 1st is mostly the same, except for the additional hangover. And yes, I know it’s February and usually thoughts like this are happening in January, but I wanted to make sure that I really thought about this fresh start, and what I can do in my life to keep it fresh. Let’s be honest, 95% of the time we commit to resolutions that last about a week or two and then we go straight back to our old ways… kind of like that yoga studio I signed up for in January. Fun while it lasted!
So, for my first post in 2016: I want to talk about detox. No ladies, not like a detox to prepare for bathing suit season. As fun as that sounds, maybe I’ll save that for next time. So often we associate detox with what we put in to our bodies, but rarely do we apply this word to things or people around us that cause a negative effect on our wellbeing. Let’s talk relationship detox. And not just a relationship detox from your last great romance, but an overall detox from all of the relationships in your life. The ones that suck you dry, wear you out, and leave you feeling like you give, give, give and are getting nothing in return.
Did any of you promise to yourself that you will only allow healthy relationships in your life? Or did you promise to get rid of the toxic things and people that are holding you back, keeping you stuck, keeping you from growing?
I haven’t either. Well, maybe I have here and there, and removed this or that, him or her, but I’ve never really sat down and thought about which relationships in my life are healthy, and which ones are weighing me down.
And you know what’s hard? Letting go. What’s even harder, the pain that comes from releasing relationships that are not part of your story anymore. There’s that saying, “some friends are for a season, some for a reason and some are for a lifetime”. I believe everyone serves a season in one’s life but it’s up to YOU to determine when that season is turning.
The coolest part though, God knows who you need. I believe that He puts us on a path, and our paths are meant to cross with the people they cross with when it’s the best time in our life’s for that to happen. And sometimes those paths carry on together and become one path. But sometimes, and eventually, those paths unwind.
Second coolest part, God’s got a plan for you and place for you to be. What does this mean?
If a relationship isn’t good for you, if someone just flat out isn’t a good friend…then let them go. When you pour all your energy and focus on these kinds of relationships it only delays where you’re headed. God’s got a plan, and you have to realize when His train is boarding, leaving the station. Are you getting on? Don’t let excess baggage hold you back from where you are supposed to be. Where He wants you to be.
Oh! Let’s not forget the MOST important thing. This all starts with YOU. Yeah you!!! The one reading this. You know you matter, right? You do know you deserve healthy relationships, right? In order to have positive and healthy relationships in your life, you need to be those things. You know that quote, “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”. I mean, this couldn’t be any truer. Seriously think about it. Who are your top? Who’s your core? And then ask yourself: Do they encourage you? Do they build you up? Challenge you to grow? Help you reach your goals? Support you when you don’t even realize you need support?
I know one of the hardest things to accept is when a relationship isn’t what it was or what we hoped it would. I will say, I believe God has coordinated every single person that comes in our life and the last thing I want is to be distracted on the draining relationships that I miss the train. I want people in my life who give me joy and energy and push me higher.
God has a really cool plan for you and my hopes are that you are ready and have made some room for the new relationships He has for you.
So yeah, maybe it’s February. And maybe I’m getting on the whole “New Year’s Resolution” thing late. But I will say this- I feel confident in the mindset I’m in for 2016. And when God points me in a new direction, on a new path, or a new train, I won’t let any baggage get in the way of riding out His plan.